My dear friend, and former client, wrote this sweet blog post in honor of Doula week last month, and I couldn’t help but share:
Who’s your Doula?
^^^That person is me!!
What is a doula?
Doula– A kick ass women!!
……..And the proper definition…
Doula– Derived from the Greek word “doule” meaning “woman who serves”. She is the support woman for a mother in labor.
I with my whole heart believe EVERYBODY deserves a doula in the birth process. They are good for Everybody involved.
Now how did I come to this conclusion? Let me explain.
When I first was pregnant with Cadden the researcher in me decided to go find everything that had to do with being pregnant, giving birth and everything in between. I drove my husband crazy being online ( I still do). Well one day I came across the Child birth Collective in a random pregnancy Google search. While checking out the website I found they offered FREE classes! I am pretty sure I was more excited about the free part than the classes themselves. Well I talk my husband into going and off we went…… Well we get there and it was held a yoga place. I saw women on exercise balls on the floor etc along with their husbands who all looked like ” why the heck did I agree to come to this?’ Well all of these women were showing pregnant. I was maybe 10 weeks and was slightly embarrassed that I deiced to go to a class so early in pregnancy ( I then learned its never to early to learn about pregnancy or the birthing process). Well this lady introduced herself saying she was a doula. I had never heard of a doula and at that moment I pictured birth being something out of ‘Dances with Wolves’, in which there is a scene and the lady is squatting down in the forest pushing a baby out with a stick in her mouth. Well she explained who she was and what she did I thought ” oh this is pretty cool”. Then like anytime I find something pretty cool she mentioned money. At that moment I put the idea in a little suit case in my mind and packed it away. We did not have 500 bucks to spend on a doula ( I also noticed when money was mentioned Chad had his head down and wouldn’t look up. I don’t know if this was because of the money or the fact the doula had start nursing in front of the class). Fast forward
We had an awesome nurse who acted as a doula and I had the birth I wanted……. Kind of. Well I then found out I was pregnant with Lyam. I went along in my pregnancy hadn’t thought about having a doula until my friend Mrs S mentioned she was in the process of becoming one. I jumped at the opportunity. Well I mentioned this to my hubby who lets say at the time was not happy about it. We one night had argued about it and he said ” Well you and your doula can go have the baby without me and I will sit here and watch t.v.” Turns out he thought our doula would take his place. Turns out he loves her and can sit down and explain why everyone needs a doula. In his world she was very Kick ass.
Why our doula was kick ass
- When into pre-term labor she was there at the hospital
- Explained why Chad should catch baby (this created a bond between Chad and Lyam that will never go away)
- Came over when I thought I was in labor and walked around the block
- Listened to my whines
- To get labor going she lounged up the hill out side of her house with me and walked around the neighborhood all day. ( I went into labor later that night)
- Let me grab onto her neck even though it hurt her when trying to push
- Came over after L was born to give nursing tips
- She also gets kick ass points for just being a doula.
As you can tell I really loved my doula… It also helps that we are friends.
Yet have a doula offers more benefits some that I never thought of
Benefits of a Doula
- Decreases the need of a c section by 50 %
- Can mean shorter labors for mom
- fewer interventions
- mom has greater success in breastfeeding
- Chances of epidural goes down
Now………Where the heck do you find a doula???
Ask around. Birth centers usually know someone, even some doctors offices ( side note if you want a doula and your doctor laughs at you…. maybe find a new doula friendly doctor… or go with that doctor and let them see the benefits them selves). There are many websites that will help you find a doula too ( will list at the end)
Doulas are really awesome women. Having a Doula at your birth may seem like the latest hot trend, yet I promise its not. Women have been supporting women throughout their pregnancies and labors since we have been on this earth. Oh and yes if you do have a C – section yes I still recommend having a doula present. My doula will always be a part of my life in some way whether its being friends or her being present in the stories I tell my son of his birth. Though I truly love my husband there is something about the emotional support that another woman can provide another who is bringing a life into the world. I truly believe their is a bond made during that time that can never be broken. March 22nd- 28th, 2013 is World Doula Week. If you have had a doula remember to give her another thanks. Remember to let her know she is kick ass. I mean to get up at midnight and be calm during a birth is a secret talent of a doula.
Mrs S….. Thank you!!! You are a kick ass women!
And yesterday I got an email where her husband included these kind words:
“When my wife first mentioned a doula, I though it was just one of her weird things, so I ignored it. Yet when she found out Sara was becoming a doula, she talked me in to it. To be honest, I thought Sara would come in and take my place at the birth of our son. ,I for the longest, resented this whole doula idea. Yet Sara turned out to be great. When my wife went into preterm labor Sara was there. When my wife thought she was really going into labor Sara was not only there but walked around the block with her at midnight. The day before Lyam (our son) was born… Sara walked up and down the hill in front of her house with my wife all day. No complaints. The night my wife went into labor Sara didn’t take my place at the birthing center; she helped me She helped me help my wife. It was as she was there but wasn’t, but was a silent presence. She recommended that I catch our son when I had doubts. To this day I am proud to say I was the first to touch my son as he entered this world. I am happy my wife introduced one of her crazy ideas. I would recommend Sara to every mom and father to be.”
I always tell families that my hope is that they’ll think I was helpful, but that they’ll walk away feeling completely like their birth was their own and that I was just part of the instrumental background that (hopefully) helps to ease things along and also further improves the partnership as well by giving them tools to support their partner, sometimes without them even knowing. And that’s the best.