5 Things Your Doula Won’t Tell You

  1. That we take the place of your Dr/Midwife. We will never diagnose you. Have a medical question? We’re going to calm your nerves with accurate information on your specific situation, followed by the words, “Call your Dr.”  Want accurate statistics on something having to do with your pregnancy or your baby? We can get you those. Want a diagnosis on what you are going through? We’ll refer you to your primary care provider.
  2. That we know something we don’t. Don’t get me wrong, as doulas, we’re the culmination of education and research on all things pregnancy, labor and delivery, as well as local resources. So in a large sense, we do know everything about everything in the pregnancy and baby world. But we also want to make sure we are giving you accurate and up to date information. So if you ask us a question and we respond with, “I’m not sure, let me look into that and get back to you.” You can know that I want to make sure you get the best information, from the most reputable sources.
  3. If we don’t love your OB/DR/Midwife. While we often talk you through how to choose your care provider and things to look for/listen for, we can’t choose for you. And if you’ve already chosen one, our job is not to talk you out of working with your OB. We give you the tools/information you need to make decisions for yourself. Even if we know the particular OB has a habit of something you that may or may not like, you have already made your decision and our job is to support you and the decisions you make. End of story. (Plus if we are going to be working with them, letting anyone know of our feelings doesn’t do anyone any favors.)
  4. This isn’t “real” labor. Mom is 37 weeks and has an occasional contraction, or more frequent but short, and no regularity/pattern to them. I get an excited phone call asking “Is this the real thing?” The real answer is: Yes! And no. Labor is so hard to predict, that as your doula, I would be remiss to say definitively your labor is going to do any specific thing with any specific time frame.  (But imagine my popularity if I could!)  Often labor has lots of little bursts in the weeks leading up to delivery. But that doesn’t make it any less real. Whether your body is practicing, doing little bits at a time, or it quickly escalates into delivery, it’s all real.
  5. If you cussed, yelled, whined, cried, or even pooped while you were in the process of having your baby. And the truth is, we probably won’t even remember any of those pieces after the fact. What we will remember, and what we will definitely tell you: You were strong. You were brave. You birthed your baby exactly the way you needed to.


Want to find out more about what Sara will tell you, educate you, inform you, or reassure you about during your pregnancy and post partum experience? Click here now!





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